Those words seem to be all around, given us by various means either through advertising, friends encouraging us, medical and other professionals recommendations.
But what is self care?
I’d suggest it can come in a variety of forms, and that for each person and for each time, the self care can look and feel quite different.
Here are a few possibilities:
1/ self care that is highly pleasant and rather lovely.
– Cooking your favourite foods
– Eating your favourite foods
– Going on holiday
– Putting your feet up for a few minutes when the kids have left for school
2/ self care that’s not so highly pleasant
– Finally sorting out your tax return
– Cleaning up the mess you left yesterday in the house
– Making that phone call you’ve been avoiding
– Deciding to have that awkward conversation where you say No and you know they’re not going to like that…..
It’s easy to perhaps see that there are categories of self care that are nice, and there are other forms of this that maybe aren’t so nice.
Making that dreaded call to the doctor (yeah, I know, but bear with me here……) to find out test results.
If there’s an anticipation of a bad result, or news of up-coming interventions that are unpleasant on the back of those test results, then it’s not surprising that making that call isn’t going to be the happy event of the day. But I’d suggest it is self care – because having the information that call will bring, will allow you to know what options are available. Without that knowledge, the options are not known and perhaps the anxiety of not knowing will become a big part of your day/week/month.
Making time to sit down with all the bills and sorting out a repayment plan agreeable to those you’re in debt to…. Again, not something we relish, but it is part of that form of self care that is necessary in order to prevent further and bigger issues.
And maybe balance is the key word to hold in mind – so that self care isn’t only the fluffy bunnies and unicorns of joy and pleasure, but is actually the attention to how much time is being taken by the unpleasant or draining, and finding something nicer to fit somewhere in the time we have each day or week.
So, maybe after an hour of dealing with the bills, deciding to ask for help from Citizens Advice is self care, and then having done that phone call (or email) allowing yourself to have a 10 minute break and have that cup of coffee that you really actually enjoy. Or going out for a walk in the decent weather we’re having.
Someone wiser than me once offered that if we don’t pay attention to our wellness (physical, emotional, financial, relational) we will be forced to pay attention to our illness.
So maybe over the weekend, take a mental check of how much attention your wellness has had this past week…. And then check to see if any adjustment is needed so that you aren’t completely full of the previously unattended that then ends up stopping you in your tracks as finally your full undivided time and attention is demanded.
For myself, I’m still recovering from Covid – so my attending this time and allowing for recovery is also self care.
Which at times has involved me saying ‘No’ to some things. By the way, how’s that little word for you…..?
How are you with your self-caring?
I offer professional therapy time online (using doxy.me which is secure) Email contact@timeforcounselling.co.uk and I’ll get back to you.
Rosalyn Young is a qualified psychiatric nurse who has long argued
against coercion, labelling, pathologisation, and enforcement in the
state systems. She has over 30 years’ experience in NHS, military,
and private agencies helping those in crisis and in recovery. She
has studied counselling to degree level, and has special interest in
working with survivors of trauma, military service, childhood abuse
and neglect, and related emotional regulation troubles.
She is a lifelong pagan, and also clinical supervisor to many colleagues.
She lives in Lincolnshire with her husband and a variety of
companion animals and motorbikes, is a keeper of chickens and a student of
the art of brewing, baking, and growing things in the garden.
Contact her on 07906260310, or email contact@timeforcounselling.co.uk
