Recent announcements from the government seem on the surface to be heralds of our upcoming freedom.
Freedom from mask wearing.
Freedom to meet up with friends and kin.
Freedom to go out out, sit in pubs, gather in groups, rejoin the human race.
However for many people the opposite of freedom looms – the announcements of freedoms bringing with them fear.
Fear of the new.
Fear of the unknown.
Fear that this freedom does not come with freedom from risk, but instead brings with it increased risks.
And for many also this next change is just another on the back of so many radical changes that have impacted everything about our lives.
We have lost freedoms, we have lost loved ones and colleagues. We have lost our energy and ability to bounce back. Many have lost their health, jobs, livehihoods, future. The possibilities in the new being overshadowed by a sense of visceral panic, and maybe a need to hide.
There are a good few jokes made, that lighten the burden of the reality – we’re quite good at that, laughing at the ridiculously difficult. One classic joke meme is about going down the Winchester pub and waiting for all this to blow over.
But it isn’t blowing over.
It remains, and the enormity of what we have faced isn’t simply going to ‘blow over’ because someone announces it from a lectern.
We need time to adjust. To come to our own terms with what has happened to us, individually and communally.
Yet with setting a date from which freedoms are announced brings its own pressure – almost the directive to ‘be alright on the 19th’. From the 19th all is well, safety is high enough on that date to immediately waive many measures imposed on the basis of protection…. How do we reconcile this batch of mixed messages?
Now we’re not talking about the pressure of having to decide whether we want tea or coffee as we stand at the counter of a café and others behind us are impatiently wishing us to hurry up….we’re talking major life-impacting matters. Life meanings. Who are we now in this new place of reality?
If you’re feeling any of this, please do know that you’re not alone in this. And in not being alone, not the only one, please also know that you are worthy of whatever time you need to adjust as you are able.
Next time you sit, with a tea or a coffee, remind yourself of these things:
I am alive.
My heart is beating.
My breath is flowing.
I am a child of the universe, with the right to be here right this moment.
The same help that I would offer to anyone who asks it of me, I am entitled to receive.
If you’re feeling unsure, confused, scared, panicky, and feel you’d like some help, get in touch.
Rosalyn Young is a qualified mental health nurse with over 30 years
experience in govt and private agencies helping those in crisis
and in recovery. She has studied counselling to degree level,
and specialises in working with survivors of trauma, childhood abuse
and neglect, PTSD, DID, and emotional regulation problems.
She lives in Lincolnshire with her husband and a variety of
companion animals, is a keeper of bees, brewer of mead, and student of
growing things in the garden.
Contact her on 07906260310, or email contact@timeforcounselling.co.uk
