In such an unsteady world, our equilibrium can be easy to lose…
With the constant news reports coming from all angles about unmitigated confusions, distrust, frustrations, saying one thing and allegedly doing another, violent crimes increasing to the point of unbelievability…online social media platforms broadcasting memes of accusation, anger and mistrust… main tv channels broadcasting series upon series of talking heads offering what feels like the same old same old time and time and time again, day after day after day after day….
We’ve become so attached to constant news and reports, whether that be from friends and family and acquaintances on social media, or from national and international outlets. There doesn’t seem to be a moment of the day when we aren’t focusing on something outside of us, presented with a conveyor belt of negativity. Umpteen times a day, and for some umpteen times an hour, that familiar ‘ping’ (or whatever sound bite you’ve attached to notifications) alerting you to pay attention to the phone because someone somewhere has posted something. Or turning on the TV to see and hear very familiar words and comment on the poor state of the whole world….
Previously esteemed places now being described using words like “ugly”, “unreliable”, “unrecoverable”. Countries and continents fighting with and between each other.
Reports of people dying, and the blame game that then ensues…..bringing perhaps a sense of somehow missing the point…. Perhaps you yourself have sat back and thought, hang on! Someone is dead, so maybe the toing and froing is beside the point, that point being that all-encompassing reality of death. Just this morning, nurses, the carers of the world, are being mentioned as facing prosecution if they’re deemed to somehow hold responsibility for the behaviours of another person….
Even The Good Game being again mired in incidents of uncontrolled and inappropriate anger and violence and abusive behaviour and comment.
When that overwhelm threatens to drown us in dire news and unrelenting woes, what can we do to start to regain our equilibrium?
Detox – not food, or some faddy alternative to food, but rather take some time out from being plugged in to the rest of the world, and plug back in to ourselves.
1/ turn off your phone.
Set aside a specified time to not have the phone active. Perhaps at mealtimes and for an hour afterwards. Leave your phone safely in a drawer as you go sit outside in the sunshine for an hour. Enjoy a morning coffee for half an hour instead of logging straight in to any online account. Notice how often and how regularly you go straight to the phone instead of speaking to the person sitting next to you. Try speaking to the person sitting next to you instead….
2/ choose salad instead of burger and chips
When out and at a chain fast food establishment, notice the ‘other’ foods on offer, and try those instead of your usual fare. Fresh, real foods not fried or processed are said to offer more nutrients to our hungry bodies, so swapping wholesome foods for processed for a day a week can be a start to helping our bodies resist the pressures of the modern world of pollution and emotional stress….
3/ sit down meals with friends
Rekindle the skill of hosting friends and cooking from fresh. Reengage in conversation, in cooking crafts, in planning and organising, and enjoying the sense of spending quality time with those we wish to associate with. Swap the hostings, one month at yours, the next at someone else’s…. this isn’t about running yourself ragged and feeding and entertaining the whole world on your own, this is about rekindling human companionship and the sharing of food and company.
4/ go outside
Sitting in an office or working inside in a factory can bring its own stresses on the mind and body. These can be increased if you work unsocial shifts, or nights. When do you get fresh air and sunshine? When do you get to be in nature? Notice if this is something you might be missing in your daily life, and plan to balance this with set-aside time for being outdoors.
5/ find a practice that suits you
spending time relaxing in a mindful manner, or attending to gentle (or not so gentle) physical activity whether that be through yoga, tai chi, HIIT gym sessions, or meditation, can all help to rebalance our mind and body systems. The benefits of exercise and of mindfulness have been extensively reported and researched, so why not add this to your self care mission?
This is not about completely reinventing your lifestyle, or rejecting anything or anyone without thought. This perhaps is an invitation to stop for a few moments as you read this, and notice if your life is running you ragged, and if there is anything you can exchange for some of the stress. Some find nurturing plants a new and life-affirming hobby, some perhaps find enjoyment in trying cycling or walking. What would add to your life and health?
For anyone who has read these 4 suggestions (there are many more, I’m sure you can think of some even as you read this….) and is sitting with any sense of frustration, feeling like you’re too busy already and can’t see how to fit ‘more’ in, perhaps you’re holding words like “that’s all very well, but I haven’t got time for any of that!”, I would offer – your mind and body are with you for your whole life. If you maintain them, they will be better able to serve you well for your life.
Also, the old Zen saying offers words to the effect of “you should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day. Unless you’re too busy. Then you should sit for an hour”.
Time with a counsellor or therapist could also assist you in considering your life and your worth, and taking time with a professional within a non-judgemental space can also be part of self-care, with its own long-term benefits.
Rosalyn Young is a qualified mental health nurse with 30 years
Experience in govt and private agencies helping those in crisis
and in recovery. She has studied counselling to degree level,
and specialises in working with survivors of childhood abuse
and neglect, PTSD, DID, and emotional regulation problems.
She lives in Lincolnshire with her husband and a variety of
companion animals, is a brewer of mead, and student of
growing things in the garden.
